Interview with Ana Macho: "I make music for a very nice and beautiful time and space"
Less than a year ago, Puerto Rican alt-pop songstress Ana Macho went into a sitdown interview with an idea: they would perform the whole thing in-character, but not just as "Ana Macho". Instead, they would add more levels onto their already fierce and fabulous personage. This time, as they recount, they were going to pretend they were something closer to a diva reality star; ramping up the self-confidence and sass that’s already part of their trademark.
In the end, they still gave an insightful interview, because one thing about Ana Macho is that you get the sense they care even when they’re pretending not to. To have a curious mind is to care — about the what's and the why's — and Ana was raised by a family that valued curiosity and knowledge above most things. "My dad would always say, 'the only thing you have to do every day is learn one [new thing]. Learn something new. If you learn something new, you grew'. And that's what matters; learn learn, read read. And I'd always be reading, doing, learning, having opinions on stuff." It’s a time of their life they look back fondly on, and one that shaped them in ways that are still significant to this day. "When we'd go see a movie, the most important part of the night was when we sat in the car afterwards and shared what we thought about it."
Ana has thought a lot about their career and future, and what role they inhabit in life at the moment, for themselves and others. Sitting down with Listening Party back in late-April, they talked about their childhood, the beginnings of their career, the tribulations of the music industry, the origins of their self-confidence, and their upcoming debut album, Radio Sunshine.
Growing up in the town of Caguas, Ana can confidently say they had sturdy support from their family. Their parents, whom they affectionately refer to as "hippies", were an instrumental guide post growing up that nurtured their emerging creative persona. "I'm definitely very thankful that I was in a space where all my interests were attended to and [given] energy to blossom." They were raised in a home that was a wellspring of creativity and surrounded by examples of art in different phases of creation. "My house was always filled with very intense manic artist vibes. My house looked like [an artist's] studio. It would look crazy if y'all saw the state in which we were living in at some points. There was paint and paintings everywhere," they share. The sentiment of gratitude includes extended family members as well; when working on their first indie EPs, an uncle who had studied at Berklee helped them on the production side.
Once their career began its ascent, their family was right there cheering them on as well — to a point. "They’re not stans, but I know they like what I do and respect it," they say, while adding "I think it’s a gag for them to see I’m an artist who shows up in Rolling Stone."
Ana was name dropped in a recent Rolling Stone article that highlighted female artists from Puerto Rico who have been making a name for themselves in the Latin urban music scene. Ana, who identifies as non-binary, is frank about the competing feelings they carry inside when they reflect on the last three years. Thinking back on when they released their first two EPs, Bairopolis and Frío Tropical (which were recorded in their bedroom) in late-2020, and contrasting it with today's newfound attention is an exercise in mild existentialist angst for them. "There's been so many times in my life when I genuinely feel maybe this is not for me, or it gets a little bit too hard and I want to do something else," they share. One of the things that keeps them centered when these feelings creep up, they say, is remembering the sacrifices they made to get to this place and time. Growing up, Ana was a student at a prestigious school that prided itself on having a graduating class that would go on to even more acclaimed colleges of medicine and science. As they look back on those years, Ana contemplates the paths not taken but also doesn’t hold back when recognizing that they would have been successful no matter what they decided to do. "I'm a nerd, I'm a geek. I love science a lot, and I’m very smart on so many other things. I'm not humble," they say with a knowing laugh. When those moments of self-doubt rear their head, Ana comes back to a specific memory of school when, in the middle of an assignment, they literally put down their pencil and decided right then that science was not what they wanted to do, but instead wished to pursue a more creative path — one that would align them more with these other feelings they had been carrying about their identity, as well.
"I went to a really, really hard school to get into. It was really expensive, and my family's not rich. There was so much sacrifice for me to get high-level education, to be a high-level professional in a STEM field. And all of my friends growing up are now engineers in Houston or wherever the fuck they moved to," they laugh. "And everyone's making a lot of money becoming doctors and stuff like that, and I would be lying if I didn't feel this pressure that that could've been my life. I could've been a doctor or an engineer," they say. "Because I'm smart enough to do that, I'm disciplined enough to do that, and I know my capabilities. I can achieve anything I want. So, I decided not to do that and focus on this and that means I have to be the best at what I'm doing right now. Because I sacrificed economic stability, job security, having a respectable employment position — I sacrificed all those things to literally dress up and sing pop songs, and yo tengo que partir," they exclaim.
Ana knows this puts them against the headwinds of society's expectations, but they have thoughts on that as well. "That is so much like a part of being an artist nowadays; always this feeling that you have to sacrifice this very capitalist straightforward life to live this alternative life," they say, adding "Which really when you start living it you realize it wasn't that alternative to begin with — in the end we're all just doing work." When offered the conclusion that it’s ultimately all capitalism, they agree and add: "To say [that] my priorities and fulfillment are elsewhere, and I'm willing to sacrifice these expectations society has of me or that I have of myself to pursue my passion," is ultimately an act of defiance some hopeful artists find themselves making, and one Ana Macho has leaned into.
However, the road that brought them to now was not smooth by any means. The creation of the Ana Macho we know nowadays involved lots of growing pains, and even more tough decision-making at some very indelible moments in their life.
Ana has spoken in the past about how they discovered drag as a teenager via the TV show RuPaul’s Drag Race, and once they moved to San Juan they began to do performances in earnest. It’s there where "Ana Macho" was born, and it’s an experience they credit with helping their career, not just in regards to networking in that space, but also as giving them a creative outlet for their ideas and the early education of what sacrifices are made when you dedicate yourself to your art. "[Doing drag] was me paying my dues. I did every single fucking show I could do. Looking busted, tired, 'til 4 a.m. in the morning, making no money. Bottom of the barrel. Hustling. It was so intense on my body, on my mind, on all aspects of my life. I never said no to any gig. Everything was yes yes yes yes yes, and I didn’t stop," they say.
While they no longer perform drag like before, "Ana Macho" continues as their "project and artistic persona". Despite shedding some of the baggage that came with that hustle, they still acknowledge the intrinsic link that will (forever?) exist between that world and themselves. It’s an association they invite, because they’re cognizant that "Ana Macho" would not exist as it does now without that past, and not just for the obvious creative reasons. "I don’t know if [Ana Macho] is attached to a drag persona per se like it was before, just because I don't participate in drag spaces like I did before. But it's still a visual project, and that hustle 'n' bustle of looking good, making sure everything works, being a performer, I learned all that from doing drag."
Now as they embark on the journey and career of Ana Macho as a legitimate recording artist and performer, they've run into a whole new set of eye-opening revelations about the industry. "[It's interesting] to see how the industry treats [artists], and see how people who I know on a human level are suddenly viewed as a product," they share. It's a sobering realization, and one echoed by Villano Antillano in a recent joint interview they did with Ana for Latino USA. There, while touching on a similar topic, the La Sustancia X star remarked "We're a concept to them" referring to artists and the music industry. It's a view Ana shares whole-heartedly and has now found themself navigating. "They don't give a shit about what I do or who I am, they just care about Ana Macho, the product. And at the end of the day the only reason Ana Macho is onstage is not because 'Oh my god, it would be so beautiful if we had Ana Macho here!' No, it's always 'Oh my god, Ana Macho would make us so much money if we put her here!' That’s how this system works and how it's monetized, and how they capitalize on your art when you're a popular artist," they say.
Of course, almost no one would be happy to be in a situation where your art is reduced to a product, and you're surrounded by glad-handers who don’t actually have your best interests in mind. But Ana, resourceful and intuitive as they are, did more than just learn from their experiences. They were, in fact, inspired. "I began to explore this idea of, what if I began to make music with the intention of selling out? What if I started to make music intentionally superficial? But play with it in a satirical way?"
It's then that they began to brainstorm what would eventually become their next project, and debut LP, Radio Sunshine.
"The concept for Radio Sunshine is born from the fact that I became popular, but I didn’t become rich," says Ana between laughs. "And that was a gag! That was shocking to me!"
One of Ana's superpowers is the ability to walk the fine line between a jest and sincerity with a tact that most lack, which often leads to people wondering if something they said was a joke or not. But ironically, it's the very act of being sincere that sometimes gets mistaken for farce. Right now, Ana might be laughing as they talk, but they're being completely honest. "I remember before releasing Realismo Mágico I went to get my cards read and he told me 'You're going to find success, but it won't be success how you picture it.' And I knew what he meant, which was uhhh I wanted to be rich," they say, still smiling. "And it was a gag when I didn't become rich and famous, but yes, I became popular and respected. It was like 'Oh these two things are different'."
Now, with Radio Sunshine, they've envisioned a concept where Ana Macho is both "popular and respected" and "rich and famous". Inspired in part by, of all things, Shakira's Zootopia character (a pop star named Gazelle who is, yes, an anthropomorphic gazelle), the album will delve into the idea of why we need pop stars, and the layers to their music when they’ve reached that level of fame. "Every place needs this national pop star, this hero — like Bad Bunny, too. Pop stars are idols, and there's something almost religious around it but also very capitalistic. It's about image, and about how that image makes you feel, and it's about bringing joy. And I wanted to create a project around that concept," they say. "But it also serves as a metaphor about my experience within the music industry for the last year. My life has changed a lot. How I perceive myself has changed; I look at myself in full costume before going onstage and I think 'Wow, this is some crazy shit. But someone's gotta do it'."
For fans of their previous works, Ana assures that Radio Sunshine will be an organic extension of what they’ve been building over their first EPs. "I feel I'm at a point where I've created a musical 'world' with a palette, a sound — a style for myself — and I think it's so particular that I now feel, like, I did the world building and now I can create the characters that live in it." Weaving together the threads that would connect the essence of Bairopolis, Realismo Mágico, and Radio Sunshine was part of the creative challenge Ana faced at the onset of realizing their new project. On top of that, they also had to find a way to tell a story over the course of the album's songs that felt true to their vision. It's something they feel they accomplished, and they're excited to share with listeners. "I found this space where I can show you this party lifestyle and this Caribbean pop star fantasy, but throughout the project also show the humanesss and aftershock of this lifestyle. I want [people to experience] this coming-of-age narrative about this pop star," they say. "It has a climax and falling action and resolution. Hopefully you'll be able to listen to it and see what I'm communicating; how you can go from aspiring to be this superficial pop star and then end up being a human just trying to make cute pretty songs and look cute singing."
So far, two singles have been released, "Exclusive" and this week's "Universo". While they prefer to keep their cards close to their chest, Ana shares that another track on the album will be called "Charreando en La Disco" and features fellow rising sensation Cita. "I love [all] the songs — they're so fun. I’m really proud of the sound we executed. I'm proud of it as a pop album. I'm proud of it as my first attempt at an album, and I think it represents me so much."
Staying true to themselves is something paramount to Ana, not just to maintain the creative throughline between projects, but also to fulfill a goal they've harbored for many years. It's a goal that’s rooted in the lack of representation of queer people they were deprived of growing up, and wanting to prove they have what it takes to be able to be that representation for someone else now. "I feel very realized, and also at bringing this to queerness. I always wanted to do this, and always thought 'I'm too maricona, and mariconas don't sing, a maricona won't be on television'. Growing up there was no reference point for me to look up to. So, the fact that I am doing it brings me lots of fulfillment and teaches me it's all about discipline and not quitting. Do you know how many times the world has told me I shouldn't do this?" Once again proving that Ana Macho cares even when they're pretending not to, they dole out wisdom that hopefully resonates and fuels others to do just as they did and follow their dreams. "I don’t want to be echapalantista and tell people 'you just have to try harder', but I'm saying if you apply yourself and focus on making the right moves you'll be fine. Just don't quit. You lose when you quit. That's when it's over."
For now, Radio Sunshine still has to come out, and only Ana and their close-knit team have all the deets of the project. But they promise that despite the heavy themes the album will explore, people will still get what they look for when they listen to Ana Macho.
"I make music for a very nice and beautiful time and space," they say. "[Radio Sunshine is] something I've never done before, but it's still Ana's world. It's an Ana Macho album, and y'all know what I mean."